Attachment Trauma is a disruption in the important process of bonding between a baby or child and primary caregiver.
The field of trauma is quite vast. When you think of trauma, you most likely identify with traumatic incidents or prolonged child abuse and neglect. You often do not consider attachment trauma and attachment bonds and how these impact and attract further traumatic experiences and even partners in life.
You attract your partner based on the character traits of your father or mother. And, either you end up with a partner who has similar character traits to our parents, or exact opposite ones. Most of this choosing happens unconsciously.
Attachment Trauma is a disruption in the important process of bonding between a baby or child and primary caregiver.
You reenact deeply ingrained patterns through a set of reactions. When you find yourself struggling with similar situations as adults, you might ask yourself, “How the heck did I end up here again?”
Attachment Trauma and Attachment Bonds
To explain it very simply, you basically have three “faulty” attachment bonds and they really shape the fundamentals of your character:
One is where a parent is overbearing and controlling, leaving you no space to develop your own identity; the second occurs when you are left to your own devices with lack of support even to the point of neglect; and the last one fits between two states where you might find yourself being yelled at or “frozen” out by a parent on the one hand, and the next moment being showered with regrets and confessions of love.
All three attachment bonds are subject to various degrees of intensity, that define the level of developmental attachment trauma that might be affecting your life.
Finding One’s Way Out of Attachment Trauma
It can take time to begin realizing that you are not attracting the right people in your life and how this relates to your specific attachment bond. It takes some effort to work through it and start to get the right people and partner to begin taking notice.
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When you start doing this, it all begins to fall into place. Attracting the right people into your space becomes easier and creates synergies!
As always, you will have to work at it and work diligently.
What is your attachment bond?